As they say, Christmas is the most
wonderful time of the year because it is the only season where all the
members of your family gather together to celebrate love, life, happiness and
of course, the birth of Christ.
This year, we celebrated
Christmas without Mommy. Our first Christmas without her, my first Christmas
without her.
There are of course so many
reasons to be happy about this Christmas season, but the loneliness and
emptiness of missing Mommy filled my entire Christmas season and I always find
myself looking through all the memories I had with her.
I terribly miss her…
in all forms
and in every reason.
When she was still alive, we used
to do a lot of things together especially when this joyous season of the year
enters. She will bring out our Christmas
decors, clean it and wash it. Then, with excitement , we will together fill the
house with all the Christmas decors to make our home festive.
We will even go to Quiapo and 168
to look for additional decors that will match the colors and designs of the
curtains and pillow cases.
I miss her thoughtfulness during this season. She sees to it that we will celebrate Christmas happily. She will buy me and my sister as well as my daddy stuff we will use for the celebration. She will buy her apos clothes, shoes, clips, etc. to be worn during Noche Buena and Media Noche. The candies and give aways for the kids are already prepared then. We are busy window shopping at SM malls. Afterwards, we will together wrap the gifts and happily place it under the Christmas tree.
Two days before Christmas, the
table is filled with different kinds of fruits.
The day before Christmas, we will go to the market and buy all the foods
to be served for Noche Buena. Spaghetti, Salad, Ube, Leche Flan, Puto, Ham and
Queso de Bola were among her favorites that you will see in the table.
Then I can see her smile, the joy
and happiness of celebrating it with us. When Christmas countdown, you will
hear her call us, “Jheng, kain na, tawagin nyo na si daddy nyo. Nasan na sina Nica at Janelle? Tawagin nyo na si jaramine saka yung mga bata.” And all of us
will gather around the table eating and sharing the foods we cooked.
Around that table is a family
that ate, talked, shared stories and laughed together. Oh, how I miss you,
Mommy….I really miss you. We all miss you.
But this Christmas, we celebrated
it without her. We were happy, we tried to be happy. We did the same
preparation she did while she was with us. But nothing and no one can
take the pain of losing you, Mommy.
But our Chirstmas will never be the
same without you.
Though it hurts, though it’s sad,
life goes on without you.
Merry Christmas, Mommy! I know
you are celebrating your happiest Christmas with the Lord. Don’t forget to take
a glance upon us through the windows of heaven.
I love you, Mommy and I miss you
so much.
